Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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