hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
