Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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