No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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