You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
