After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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