Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
