next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
