sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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