the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm both gender and math confused
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
