You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
