i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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