ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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