It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
