I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
