Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently you make a good broom.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You made out with two different species that night
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
