i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
