I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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