I think my vagina is haunted
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
