Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
