Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Screwed.edu
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
