You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
