A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't put those talents on a resume
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
