I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize