What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
