Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
