would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
