i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You ruined the universe
Randomize
