Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
