i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
