I wish my penis had an off switch
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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