the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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