Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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