Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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