Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
