he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
