Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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