The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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