i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
