Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
