no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
