My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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