If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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