i permit you to call me
Quick, to the slutcave!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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