You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
