the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
