i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
