I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
