My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
