so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
