haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
