New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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