I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
