I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize