recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
