If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
