when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
