I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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