It's just like the Real World with babies
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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