I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
