My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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