Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
