I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
