I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize