Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i will never coherently bang her
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize